It is with a very heavy heart..........

That I say goodbye to my blonde hair.**big sigh**
It's been good to me and I love it oh so much. Unfortunatly my natural hair color is about as FAR from blonde as one can get. The problem that this presents is that having naturally long AND blonde hair is pretty much out of the question. It breaks off almost as fast as it can grow. Extensions are great and literally make me feel instantly 10 times prettier but there's nothing like the real thing. So I have today made a very serious decision, that I want naturally long hair more than I want blonde hair. A decision I think must be akin to a child forced to pick which parent to live with. (that's a joke) Rest In Peace blonde we've been through some great times together.

**afterthought**
I used to have black hair..like jet black with a blue intensifier then brown and then blonde. My grandma makes no bones about the fact that she hated my hair black and choses to bring it up often. "just don't ever go black again whatever you do" or "i just really didn't like your hair that dark" etc etc...I FREAKIN GET IT, GEEZ! Rude! hahahahahahhaha..I would never go back to that color, it was good for that time and that place and I really loved it, old ladies would always tell me I looked like Pricsilla Presley, but I feel lighter now that I'm a little more mature and I'm not in a "punk' phase anymore. By punk I mean I work tiny gages and a black sabbath shirt to beauty school...BAD A I know!!

Thoughts...........

This is the worst picture of my sister Amanda that has ever been taken. But it always makes me laugh. Speaking of Amanda......sometimes SOME people are really really cranky. Somtimes some people sit around with their cranky crank faces and are big old poop heads.

Cody is the cutest dog in the whole world.

I really really hate people that are inconsiderate slobs. If you know me you know that I am no "neat freak" but enough is enough. Stop leaving a trail of garbage wherever you go.

I LOVE the Kia commericial with the hamsters.

I knew which wedding dress I wanted the minute I put it on and I never changed my mind about it for one second.

I had so much fun with my mom's friends Bonnie and Susan this week. Good moms must just hang out with other good moms. Bonnie's kids and Susan's kids and my mom's kids are some lucky little (and big) rugrats. They love us so much. *Sidenote I hope I'm as pretty as they are when I'm a mom, and no Susan I am not just "being kind"*

If you want to watch something good you should go to MTV.com and watch MTV True Life "Resist the Power, Saudi Arabia" It will make you appreciate your life in ways you've never even thought about.

Being kind is so important, but sometimes it's so fun to make fun of people.

I need to go back to school...but for what??! I don't know. BLUGH.

There is someone I kinda know who thinks she's better than everyone and was excluded a lot in high school and now has a really weird thing about being exclusive, as in excluding other people...how whack is that??

Susan and Bonnie said they really really liked Jonny and they can tell he's going to be a really good husband. I know that already but it was great to hear them say it!

This might be really really innapropriate but I've lost about 15 plbs since last July but my boobs have just gotten bigger. Some days they are bigger than other days. Right now they are GINORMOUS. It's uncomfortable..soon I won't be able to see my belly button.

Broadway Baby

Today whilst driving in my car belting out Lady Gaga's "Speechless" I noticed that some gentlemen in the car next to me where having a good chuckle at my expense. Now, not only am I used to it, but I can't say that I blame them. When I'm in my car I don't just demurely sing along to the songs, I belt those babies out with all the emotion I can muster. Ever since I can remember I have loved to sing. When I was little (like 4) instead of introducing me to Raffie or normal kid stuff my mom had my sister and I listen to musicals. My love of Broadway was born. Amanda and I spent HOURS in our room with our taped recording of Broadway classics. My barbies and Playomobile people were Maria and Tony from West side Story or Tzeitel from Fiddler on the Roof. This might seem cute and funny...but my mom was setting me up for a life of dorkedom and furthermore when I was about 10 she decided to feed into my dreams of a future singing career by telling me that I had a nice voice and even that she would pay for voice lessons. Like any delusional idiot would, I believed her because I wanted to.

Around that same time I started having "trouble" in school. YEARS later I realized there was nothing wrong with me except I always had my head in the clouds and years of academic indifference had merely caught up with me. Anywho, on days when I really didn't want to go to school I would hide in this tiny cupboard in the kitchen until I knew the bus had come and gone. I would wait for my mom to leave for her morning jog and then I would blast Les Miserables in our living room. Sometimes I was Jean Val Jean other times I was Eponine and I thought I sounded really good, I would get really into it doing the acting along with the singing....then I would run upstairs and hide under the table in my moms bedroom before she got back from running.

One day I thought it might be fun to record myself singing...like I said I thought I had a beautiful voice. So I locked myself in my little brothers nursery with a tape recorder and with all my might sang "Hold On" from Secret Garden (the musical) once I was done I eagerly rewound the tape dreaming of my Tony Award. I pressed play and was shocked at what I heard..it sounded like two cats fighting over a squeaky toy. It really took the wind out of my sails but I reasoned with myself that I still had ballet.

I could go on and on but lucky for my family my bathroom/living room Broadway performances ended at about 15. Mostly because I got bored with it and got too busy for that sort of thing but also because the final musical I loved was Ragtime and while I'm sure the bathroom mirror was very convinced by my performances as Coalhouse Walker (an African American man in the ragtime era whose dreams are crushed by racism) I myself no longer believed it. And so the curtains closed on my Broadway Dreams forever.

My Dad and the "F" word

Me: "Dad what do you do when you want to have some fun?"
Dad: "FUN?!"
Me: "Ya, like what do you do when you just want to let loose and have a good time?"
Dad: "UMMMMMMMM......well I like to run and ride my bike??"(This is stated more as a question than an answer)
Me: (growing rather impatient) "I mean those things are ejoyable but they're not really like FUN! They're not a good time".....(i give up)
Dad: "Well your mom and I like to go to the beach sometimes."


AWESOME!!!!!